


Pool of the Mind

by peaceouttopizza23



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Angst, Mental Instability, Mental Link, Minor Character Death, Minor Character(s), Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:28:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23981575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peaceouttopizza23/pseuds/peaceouttopizza23
Summary: A different end to your journey in the Indian Lostbelt. Or, an unintentional delve into his mind.Gender neutral reader.
Kudos: 21





	Pool of the Mind

_He's furious._

You stand several yards from the ongoing turmoil, feeling your ears pop, your bones creak, and your skin burn from the force of the wind whipping you. The blows being exchanged are brutal.

Screams rip through the air, feral and desperate, explosions go off left and right, and ultimately, the fight before you ends as Karna is struck. 

One false move, he's failed to block the shot, and you can see him begin to fade, turning to you with a defeated smile that masks pain.

You cry out in protest, staring with a futile gaze at your bare wrist, bruises all that remain of the command seals once adorning your skin. Tears threaten to prick through your lashes, but you squint your eyes shut as you hear the familiar twinkle of a servant fading away.

Panic begins to set in as you finally look up, but rather than expecting your end, you see a distraught figure. 

_He's..._

You rise to your feet. You've never exactly been smart about some of the decisions or choices you made in the past, so you don't see a reason to start now, especially since your gut is telling you something important.

His eyes whip from the cloud of gold dust to you, pupils like pinpricks as he twitches with every step you take closer towards him.

You wonder why he hasn't done anything in response, when suddenly your feet are swept out from under you and he's several feet further away than he was moments prior. Your head is dazed as you see him raise a hand, one of the many orbs lazing around his shoulders drifting to settle on his palm. He's recollected himself, his face now back to the normal empty expression he typically bears.

You immediately jump to your feet and this response is met with a furrowed brow, and he speaks in a genuinely confused voice.

"You have lost. Why do you not concede defeat?"

"Because I have the weight of the world on my shoulders."

He is silent for a few moments, lowering his palm. He stares at you quizzically, almost as if not only questioning you but himself as well for not simply ending this farce sooner. Objectively, he is wasting time.  
_But…_  
"Resign yourself. This is how things shall be, for I dictate it so."

"This is not right. This history has stagnated," you say, frustration in your voice, "humans _cannot_ hope to progress when you simply reset what is not to your standards! You are a tyrant god!"

His face twitches, though his voice remains in his typical monotone.  
"Progress leads to failure, and that is not an option. So things shall stay as they are."

You grit your teeth, anger overcoming any fear you had. At this point, you've lost already, and even though he seems to be beyond being saved with words, the vulnerability you just saw is enough to convince you it might just be possible.  
"I _know_ you. I know who you used to be. Surely once you disagreed with these words! The real you is a hero! A hero of justice who fights for the greater good of humanity!"

"I _am_ doing what is the greater good for humanity. By preserving them in their most perfect form, they will survive forever."

His eyes darken, looking down on you with an unreadable expression.  
"I do not know who you speak of, but surely you have me confused with another. I am not a fool as he is."

"You are wrong," you say bitterly, "you are the biggest fool of them all."

"It is my job to do things as I have been doing them. I took this on when I took over the role of humanity's saviour."

"You are not a saviour. You are a man who, from birth, has done nothing but recieve his fortune from others. You did not take on this title, it was forced upon you."

He grits his teeth, closing his eyes. You can tell he's losing his composure.  
" _Quiet._ Your end draws near."

"You are no god! You are nothing but an awarded hero, given the keys to the kingdom!"

His face blanches, a low growl settling in his throat as his fists clench by his sides, his face awash in fear.  
" _Do not speak of what once was._ "

"What happened to you to become this way? The people speak of how you once were, they say you are a righteous god! What I see before me is a fraud, wrought with a lack of confidence!"

His hands grab at his head, wincing as if in pain.  
"Stop! Y-you..! I am doing what is best for my people! I am doing what must be done!"

"There is no reason things have to be like this! You have nothing but thirst for control, you can't let go of the idea of perfection. You are afraid of failure!"

The golden arcs wreathed above his head glow brightly, making an unearthly sound as they join together. The string of his bow flares to life, anger painted across his ageless skin, pain dragging itself through every crease. He grabs the metal, a cold glare in his eyes as he aims his bow at you, flame rushing around the orbs behind him as they form a violent swirl of prana within his fingertips. He doesn't respond, but you can tell from his lack of response that he can't deny your claims.

You get to your feet once more, standing stout even in the face of his noble phantasm, refusing to give in.

"I know you know I'm right! You're trying to fix everything that isn't broken! But you won't admit that you are what is broken. I can't believe you've fallen so low..! I know you're still in there! I know you can hear me! A--!"

The sun is nearly eclipsed by a blinding light as he releases the arrow from his fingers, the air itself sizzling as it heads straight through you and hides your small figure in an explosion of pure white. The last thing you see is an anguished expression, his eyes wild.

The explosion may have deafened any normal human, but he hears your last scream.

_"Arjuna!"_

It's dark. Hopelessly dark, like a void that threatens to consume your very soul. 

_Where am I? Who am I?_

You see a dull light in the distance, and make your way towards it. A petal dances by you, settling on your shoulder. Or, at least what you assume is your shoulder.

And then another.

And another.

They begin to wreath around you like flurries of snow, and as you approach closer you find that the light is emanating from a pool of water in the darkness, surrounded by a small garden of lotus flowers.

A figure sits, on their knees, dark but shrouded in white, by the pool. You hear soft sounds that you soon recognize as sobs as you draw near.

Something within you pushes you, and you walk behind them soundlessly, placing a gentle hand on their shoulder. The figure jumps, whipping towards you, and you see a familiar face.

"You..?"

Without saying a word you kneel down and envelop him in a hug, his body frozen against your form for mere seconds before he begins clinging to you like you are the first comfort he's seen in years. His sobs grow heartbreakingly intense, his face buried into your frame.

After a few minutes he quiets, pushing you away and staring past you into the pool with a somber expression. His voice cracks, broken and exhausted.  
"I did this all for the greater good. I did this because I did not want the world to become like myself. I could not let things go awry, not when you…" 

He stares at you, confused, his voice shaky and unsure.  
"I promised I would take care of things."

You say nothing, offering him compassionate silence. His brow furrows, sorrow forming on his tired face.

"I'm not ready to give it up. I can't let go. I promised…"

"You must."

"I'm not ready to let you go, I can't, I'm not ready to lose you again--"

You pull him close once more, and he lets out a pained noise, fighting your grip. "You must."

He eventually tires, going limp, and you release him, looking at him expectantly.

As he studies your form, you see disappointment, fear, and relief in his gaze.  
"You.. you are not him. What is your name?"

You speak it, your voice soft.

"I see," he says, sighing quietly as a gentle smile tugs its way across his face. "That is a nice name."

You smile, and though you aren't sure you even have a body for him to see, you notice his gaze brighten.

There is a gentle breeze rustling his hair, and for the first time since you've joined him here, you notice how much younger and gentler his features seem from the Arjuna you know so well. He's so tired, and yet hasn't even truly experienced what the world has to offer.

You look to him with a curious gaze, your thoughts swimming like the fish lazily under the surface of the glassy pool.  
"Where is this?"

"That is a difficult question to answer. My mind... perhaps."

"How did I reach this place?"

"That is… Also a difficult question to answer. But you should not be here. Or rather, you weren't meant to be here, but yet, you are."

He stays silent for a moment, picking up a lotus blossom beside himself and studying it meticulously, playing with the petals.  
"Endless questions and none I can answer in proper detail. All I can tell you is that you must now go. Though our meeting may have been a mistake, you have given me some long sought answers as to what I need to do next."

"Where shall I go then?"

"Somewhere hopefully better than here. Where you belong."

You stay silent for a few moments, watching him fiddle with the flower almost anxiously. You're surrounded by beautiful dewy foliage and the sky above you seems to sparkle with stars, but it fades to the endless, inky black void after several metres. You quietly wish you could stay longer.

"It's quite lovely here," you say, your gaze enraptured at the scene around you. "It's beautiful. You have a beautiful mind."

He stands, turning to you with an outstretched hand, and you take it, joining him.

"Perhaps. But this place is deceitful, it will soon disappear regardless." 

He gazes into the void, and you notice it is beginning to eat away at the edges of the garden. His lip twitches slightly as he bites the inside of his cheek, a habit that seems to be universal among all versions of himself.  
"I am a probability not meant to be. You…"

He locks your gaze, his eyes swimming with a depth of emotion. You pick out fear and sadness as among the most prevalent, but there is a latent flame of hope, one you haven't seen in his eyes since you met him in this world. 

"...are a real hero. You must return. They are counting on you. Your world is."

You stare at him, confused, as he reaches out a hand to your chest, pushing you gently into the pool with but a nudge. The surface shatters like a mirror upon your impact, and you glimpse his gently smiling face once more as your vision clouds, foggy and white. You see a bright light....

You wince, blinking your eyes open as the sun stares you in the face, Mash's familiar voice rousing you. She's worried, you think by her tone, and you sit up, dizzy, as she supports your neck.

"S-Senpai! Senpai, are you okay?!"

You feel rough earth beneath you, heat beating down on you as you realize you are back where you were several hours ago. The garden is nowhere to be seen, and you notice that you feel corporeal again. The violent screams, terror, and tears prior feel like nothing more than a dream.  
You stare up at the sky, however, seeing that the Tree of Emptiness has vanished. You smile fondly, running your hands through your unkempt hair. 

"Yeah. I'm alright. Don't worry."

She nods, tears pricking her amethyst gaze as she helps you to your feet and offers you a canteen. 

"Confirming destruction of the Tree. We should get back, the others will be worried."

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first piece, not really aiming for it to be anything special, I just got the urge to write one day. Maybe its incoherent, maybe not, but I hope many of you can enjoy it.  
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Side note: I do not speak japanese, so I haven't read lostbelt 4. I just know a little about arjunya and figured I'd conjure up a lil somethin... Sorry if its inaccurate to his character!


End file.
